My kingdom for a macro!

Disclaimer: This is a semi-rant concerning Rift, an MMORPG, so if you've never played one before, you probably won't know what the hell I'm talking about. It's also fueled by slight insomnia, so making sense is optional anyway.

I made a new character on Rift today and somehow ended up spending about 5 hours on her without even realizing it. I have a level 50 rogue that I usually play but wanted to try something different. So I went mage. I was actually kinda having fun with it, too. Then I got The Bastard involved.

All I wanted to know was how to make the best macros, since I had gotten her leveled to a point where they might be useful. That is when I was informed that mages are the hardest to level and their spells can't really accommodate macros. If I was actually able to play on a daily basis, this wouldn't be such a big deal. However, I don't have the time to really get a feel for this type of levelling, so I basically just wasted 5 hours.

I see only 3 options: stick with this mage out of pride and be annoyed; suck it up and go make a cleric; or say fuck it and buy Skyrim for my Xbox.

A rose by any other name... is still a deadly plant of horrors

On Monday, we went over to the in-laws' house.  They've moved to the other side of the country (thanks, economy!) but have kept their house here.  They'll be home for Christmas so we're trying to spruce up the place a bit.  In the course of decorating the front of the house, The Bastard came upon that annual obstacle.

The rose bushes.

First off, I'm not a big fan of roses anyway.  They're expensive.  They're cliche.  They're the type of flower that my grandmother, who likes both expensive and cliche, tried to talk me into having at my wedding (we went with star-gazer lilies).  The worst part?  With the exception of the pretty little flowers, they look like something out of Wes Craven's House of Flower Arrangements.

I wanted to set it on fire.  The Bastard pointed out that his parents' HOA might get mad.

Why why WHY does anyone plant these death plants??  The only reason my in-laws have them is because the neighborhood put it there and won't let them rip the damn things out.  We saw where Nurse Mommy cut them back last year.  They grew back with even MORE thorns.  It's like they increase their defenses every time they're cut, but the only thing we can do to combat them is to keep cutting them.

We move into this house next month and I'm a little concerned that these plants might try to grow under the house, into the bedroom, and try to kill us in our sleep.  Anyone know where I can get a good flamethrower?

Indecisive Bastard is indecisive

With school and work and holidays and blah blah blah, I haven't had much time for blogging.  However, I had to pop in to share this conversation.  Background info: My husband tries his damnedest to never decide anything.  Ever.  Also?  Never consult me for snappy comebacks.  This is a one-time deal here.

Me: What do you want for dinner?

Dan: I dunno.

Me: Well, we have ground beef thawed.  I also bought taco seasoning and spaghetti sauce.  Which would you rather have?

Dan: Meh.  Whatever.

Me: Alrighty.  I'll be in the living room whenever you make a decision.

Dan (as I'm walking out of the room): Whatever!

Me (walking back in the room): You never make a decision.  Do you even know how decision-making works??

Dan (grinning): No, not really! Why don't you explain it to me in 3 words or less.

Me (pondering for a few seconds): ...Choose... an... option.

Dan (boggling): Oh my god.  You actually did it.

Me: That's right!  I win!

Dan: What the fuck?!  GTFO!!

Me (walking out of the room): I WIN, BITCHES!!!

That's right.  I'm a winner!

I haven't occupied anything recently, but I may have accidentally crushed a bank employee's spirit

So we closed our accounts with Mid-Size Bank (not the actual name... duh) since we decided to transfer over to the company where we have all our insurance policies because hey!  Multi-account discounts!  We've just been lazy about it, but when our old bank sent a letter saying that they were increasing rates and charging to use our check cards, we had all the incentive we needed.

The banker that we spoke to was very nice and very enthusiastic to keep our business.  I felt kinda bad for him because I figured that there had been a lot of customers leaving for other banks and credit unions with the fee hike, so I tried to sympathize with him.  That didn't really go so well...

My solid relationship

This conversation just happened:

Me: Where are you going?

Bastard: None of your business.

Me: Where are you going?

Bastard: Strip club.

Me: Uh huh. Where ya going?

Bastard: I just told you. Strip club.

Me: At quarter to 9 on a Tuesday.  By yourself.

Bastard: Yup. (starts digging quarters out of change dish)

Me: Ummm, I don't think that you're allowed to put coins in a stripper's g-string.

Bastard: That's not where I'm gonna put 'em! (eyebrow wiggle)

Me: Wrong kind of slot, sweetie!  Seriously.  Where are you going?

Bastard: I don't want to have to repeat myself.

Me: Good!  Maybe this time you'll actually tell me where you're going.

Bastard: (heads for door)

Me: You're going on a soda run, aren't you?
 
Bastard: Nope.

Me: How long are you going to be gone?

Bastard: A couple hours.

Me: Alrighty.  See you in a few minutes.  Have fun on your soda run!

He was back a few minutes later carrying a soda.  We know each other so well!

Working with Frankenteen

I have a coworker that some of us lovingly call Frankenteen.  Ok, by "some" I actually mean "two", but that's beside the point.  He's a funny kid and will just swoop past my department, grab candy out of the candy dish, pop my bubble wrap, then swoop back out again with a "Hi! .... Bye!"  This is an actual conversation that took place during the company's busiest week of the month.  To set the stage, my desk was absolutely buried and I was frantically trying to get as much done as possible when Frankenteen came bounding into my section.

Frankenteen

Frankenteen: Are you busy?

Me: Uh... yeah... just a bit!  What do you need?

Frankenteen: Can I use you as a test dummy?

Me: ...for what?

Frankenteen (pointing at my computer): For that!

Me: What do you need to do?

Frankenteen: Don't worry, it won't effect your work! We just need to test something!

Me: What do you need to test?

Frankenteen: I need to check to see if you have admin rights.

Me: I DO have admin rights! I already know that I do so you don't need to check!

Frankenteen: Oh, well we can't use you then. Bye!

Because I'm a friend and I care

To my friend A who had to back out of last week's campout at the last minute:



Hallmark, eat your heart out!