Sunday, June 28, 2009

Mr. Great Expectations

ATTENTION LADIES: Are you a sexy, ambitious, spiritual woman who's looking for the perfect man? Well, we don't have him here. But we do have...


This is Mark. And he knows exactly what he wants. As in, he has written a fucking novel on

"It is deep, complex, and mind-boggling." Seriously, says so right on his site.

~the Redhead: This website consists of one single page and approximately eleventy billion pictures of our friend Mark, ranging from the goofy to the downright creepy.

This site not only details his perfect woman down to specifications, but also describes his "global vision" which will allegedly brainwash the masses bring peace and love into this God-forsaken world.

For those of you who are curious to his taste in women,

She has a trim waistline. Alternatively, if her waistline is ALMOST (but not quite) trim, she is willing to trim it down for me and keep it trim for me. No exceptions

In other words, fatties need not apply.

~the Bastard: For that matter, if you're not a Quiet minded (ie. stupid), highly religious, meditating, vegetarian super-model/actress and former prostitute, you should probably be running away. Did I mention no TV or pets? And Rock music? Right out the door!
On the other hand, most extremist groups will LOVE his views on governments.

Even though his site is "devoted" to finding his perfect woman, it really comes off as nothing more than an outlet for his over inflated ego and life views. Which are...well... see for yourself.

So congratulations Mark, you have officially joined the short list of people I will never accept Koolaid from.


  1. At first I thought it was a picture of John Malkovich, then a picture of George Snr from Arrested Development and by the time I reached the 'Goddess-screaming' I was just about effing screaming!!!!

  2. What I loved about his photos was that the first couple were only mildly disturbing. They get worse as you read further down.

    I sent this to my former coworkers last week - this guy was a big hit with them, I tells ya!

  3. Isn't he just a dreamboat? I'm amazed he's still single! (HA!)