Sunday, August 30, 2009

Apparently, stupidity leads to people bursting into flames...

In our second people-catching-fire scenario of the week, we can definitely spot the problem person. See that guy over to the left? Yeah. That guy right there. Please try to contain yourselves, as I know this is a shocking revelation.

This is Daniel Wood, 31, of Ohio. Mr. Wood has a problem with making good decisions. In this particular instance, he made three very bad decision. The first one was huffing flammable vapors (some reports say it was gasoline, others say it was aerosol from a can of compressed air). The second was yelling threats at K-Mart patrons while darting into traffic. And thirdly, when confronted by police officers, he resisted arrest and assaulted them.

The officers, after Mr. Wood kicked and tried to bite them, realized that he wasn't going down without a fight. So they tased him. Unfortunately, whatever he'd been huffing (see bad decision #1) interacted quite badly with the electricity from the taser and his shirt ignited. The cops were on the ball, though; they turned off the taser and put him out right away, so he actually fared much better than Mr. Feltham from Wednesday's post.

By the way, the crazy doesn't stop with Mr. Wood. If the comments on CBS's coverage of this story are to be believed (and they shouldn't be), one would think that cops are going around setting suspects on fire with tasers all the damn time for their own amusement. Of course, it doesn't help that CBS also left everything leading up to the altercation completely out of their article. Thanks, CBS, for your diligent reporting!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

He says, she says: Greek style

Malia, on the island of Crete, has apparently become quite the tourist hotspot for Brits on holiday. Unfortunately for one Brit, it got a little too hot. According to Marina Fanouraki, a 26-year-old Greek student, a very drunk Brit tourist whipped out his junk and tried to grope her, so she dumped her Sambuka on him. Understandable, right? Well, she claims that after this happened he tried to light a cigarette and, as most of us are well aware, alcohol and fire don't play well together.

On the other hand, Stuart Feltham, the 20-year-old tourist in question, claims he never even spoke to the girl. In fact, the friend that was with him claims that all Stuart did was bump into her, causing her to go nutzoid and set him ablaze with her lighter.

Either way you look at this, someone went crazy that night. But which one? Unfortunately for those of us following the story, it looks like the assault case against Miss Fanouraki will be postponed until May while he recuperates, his lawyer finds witnesses, and she decides whether or not to sue for sexual harassment. Never fear, faithful crazy readers, we shall be keeping up with this story so that you can be well informed on just which one of these two is actually crazy!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

America's litigious nature personified...

Meet Jonathan Lee Riches© (seriously, he puts the copyright symbol after his name). Mr. Riches is currently in federal prison after pleading guilty to wire fraud charges. Mr. Riches is also either incredibly bored or completely nuts, as he has filed hundreds (some think even thousands) of lawsuits against various people, corporate entities, laws, and even phone numbers. Some of his defendants include politicians (i.e. George W. Bush, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton), actors (i.e. Reese Witherspoon, Ben Affleck, and Tom Cruise), music artists (i.e. Timbaland, Beyonce Knowles, and Paul McCartney), governments no longer in existence (i.e. Adolf Hitler's National Socialist Party and Ming Dynasty), and phone numbers (202-456-1414 and 843-387-9400 - please note that the second phone number is listed as a contact for Mr. Riches on the lawsuit against the first phone number).

When the Guinness Book of World Records wanted to name him as the World's Most Litigious Person, he sued them, too.

All of these lawsuits are handwritten and, as far as we have found, have either been dismissed by a judge or tossed altogether because he didn't pay the proper filing fees. One judge is apparently so fed up with his lawsuits that in his dismissal, he stated, "Plaintiff's complaint is hereby DISMISSED without prejudice. IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Plaintiff is henceforth PERMANENTLY ENJOINED from filing any further complaints in this Court except as set forth in this Order. Plaintiff is henceforth PERMANENTLY ENJOINED from filing or attempting to file any new lawsuit in this Court without first obtaining leave of the Court to do so." He has not since filed a lawsuit in the Georgia Northern District Court. He has, however, filed four more lawsuits in other courts.

And just to get it out of the way, Don't Poke the Crazy has no comment on any future lawsuit against them by Jonathan Lee Riches© for being included on this blog.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Crazy on Twitter!

Don't Poke the Crazy is now on Twitter! If That Feisty Redhead can figure out how to use it, you might just be able to get CRAZY updates. Follow us here!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It's a uterus, not a clown car.

7 months ago when the story broke about Nadia Sulman having 8 babies, there was much debate raised about fertility treatments and how many is too many.

We don't know about you, but this is what we picture when we hear "Octomom"

Now, there is a woman in Tunisia who claims to be pregnant with 12 babies. That's right. 12. A dozen. All in her uterus. Just in case that didn't blow your mind enough, that's 12 small people growing inside her. We have a friend that lives in a quadraplex. There's more people inside this woman's belly than lives in our friend's building. If you thought Nadia's belly was huge after 8 (search on Google Images for "octomom" yourself - we did that once and that was bad enough!) just imagine what 12 will look like.

And she wants to have a natural birth for all of them.

Now. Let's look at some scientific facts. In mammals, the number of nipples that an animal has indicates the maximum size of a litter, and half that number for the usual amount of babies. As we all should know (and if you didn't, you probably shouldn't admit it), humans have two, so according to nature, the usual amount of bebehs is 1, the max usually being 2. That means this woman is pregnant with 6 times the maximum amount of kids that nature intended her to have.

It's not a contest, people.

UPDATE: Lynn just informed us in the comments that this has already been exposed as a hoax! This article says that the woman claimed she was 9 months pregnant. The implausibility of a woman being able to carry that many fetuses to term notwithstanding, we're pretty sure that the doctors were able to call "bullshit" just looking at her. (Again, we'll let you Google-Image Octomom yourselves)

So, the question remains: Which is crazier - If this had actually been true, or faking being 9 months pregnant with 12 babies?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Tale of a Horse's Ass

I think you've gotta be a little crazy to think that having sex with a horse is a good idea. You've gotta be even crazier to sneak onto someone's ranch, rearrange the horse's stall, and have sex - on multiple occasions - with someone else's horse. But if you do all of the above, get caught, put on the sex offender list, sentenced to probation, and then go back to the same ranch to have sex with the same horse two years later, you're off-the-deep-end crazy!

Besides, would you really wanna mess with this woman? (Photo from AP)

Rodell Vereen was undeterred by any such logic or reasoning when he broke into Barbara Kenley's stable and violated her horse, Sugar, even after he'd already been apprehended for the same offense, with the same horse. Ms. Kenley, naturally suspecting the Mr. Vereen (even though the authorities didn't think he'd be that stupid), set up surveillance cameras, capturing the assault on poor Sugar, and then held the guy at gunpoint until the police arrived.

Ms. Kenley, you get approximately eleventy billion awesome points (that includes bonus points for showing admirable restraint by not actually shooting the guy).

And all Mr. Vereen gets is jail time, where, presumably, he'll learn to empathize with Sugar.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Being a Redhead Can Be a Real Pain...

I found this article today and since my first reaction was "Woah! That's just crazy!" I decided to share it with the rest of you.

Basically, there have been rumors/urban legends floating around the medical world for a long time about the pain tolerance of redheads, so researchers actually decided to study it. Turns out that it's true - most people who carry the redhead gene have a lower pain tolerance and a higher resistance to anesthesia. Crazy, right? Side note: The anecdote about the redhead getting a root canal is pretty scary!

This article really makes this redhead glad that her hair comes from a bottle - I'm already kind of a wuss! Then again, my grandma is a redhead, so maybe it's all in my genes...