Why The Bastard should probably stop playing online multi-player games

So The Bastard is only working part-time right now, so between looking for a 2nd job and his insomnia, he's got a lot of free time on his hands.  To fill this time, when he's not dismantling and reassembling the computers, he plays online multi-player games.  This would not be a problem, except that The Bastard seems to have a certain magnetism for crazy, especially when it comes to the female variety.

At first, I thought it was just "IRL", as the kids say.  For example, when we were in high school, he dated a girl who was so possessive, I once offered to get him a crowbar for Christmas so that he might have a chance to loosen her vice-grip on him.  However, as he discovered the world of online gaming, it appears that it's not just his charming good looks that attracts female bizarreness.

On one text-based game, he had one woman cyber-stalking him and posting all kinds of crazy weirdness in an attempt to sabotage his in-game reputation and relationships.  This went on for months until he finally left the game altogether, although for unrelated reasons.  The only provocation that we could figure is that he was also a moderator for the forums and once had to get onto her for breaking the rules.

There have also been other misunderstandings where "being a nice guy" has been interpreted as "wanting to be in an actual relationship" and the other (read: crazy) party has gotten butthurt in the end.  However, the most recent tops the cake.  Lately, The Bastard has been playing a World of Warcraft style game: fantasy role-playing, real-time play with quests and guilds, as well as the ability to have voice chat with other players.  This game has in-game relationships that give you certain "buffs", depending on what type of relationship you're in and the stats of the other player.  I think.  I haven't actually played it, so I think I've got that right.

Anyway, he "got married" in the game to one of the other guild members.  He considered her a friend and, as he's married and she was in a committed relationship, The Bastard assumed that there was an understanding that this "relationship" was solely for their mutual benefit in the game.  However, he got online the other day and found that she had "unfriended" him, left his guild, blocked him on chat, and sent him a ranting PM, basically saying that he hasn't been spending enough time with her, and that she doesn't deserve to be treated this way.

She was pissed that her fake husband wasn't spending enough fake quality time with her because he was too busy going on fake missions with fake elves, fake mages, and other such fake characters.

I asked him if there was any way that anything he's said could be construed as wanting more, and he said they'd make jokes about spousal abuse when one of them beat the other in a sparring match or whatever in the game, but couldn't think of anything other than that.  I asked him what he was going to do about it, and he said that he was just going to keep his mouth shut and pretend that nothing happened.

He's apparently learned nothing from real life.

Oh, Springs131...hOw we'VE mISsEd yOU!!!11!1!!!!

Big props to loomatic from the Rubberneckers group on Ravelry for finding this little gem!  For those of you who are not familiar with Springs131, she is the restaurant customer from Hell.  I pity the poor abused servers that end up with this nightmare at their table!  If you're not familiar with the screen name, you may also know her by "The rAnCh DrEsSiNg lady" as she is famous for her crazy, excessively punctuated, randomly bolded, erratically italicized, nonsensically capitalized ranch dressing rants.

In case you've missed out on all the fun check out this link, and this one, too.

The Bastard's Job Odyssey

The Bastard is finally employed again!  WOO HOO!!  It's been awhile and I know he's been going stir crazy.  I also know that he's going to be working for a special brand of crazy...

This all started when he got a call from JB, telling him that a spot opened up in another department where he works, looking for general IT and server upkeep.  So of course, The Bastard instantly put his name in the hat.  This is exactly the kind of work that he wants to do for a living, so we were totally excited!

Then came the bad news.  He'll only be working part-time, and his bosses are a collection of intellectual prima-donnas.  None of his predecessors in this position have lasted six months because the couldn't deal with the crazy.

So while I'm completely excited that he's working again, and in a field that he loves, I'm a little worried about the longevity of this job.  However, I do still hold some hope.  After all, The Bastard is still a crazy magnet, so he's had lots of practice with this sort of thing!

Don't Poke the Crazy is now on Plurk!

So I've been hearing about this Plurk thing for awhile now, but really haven't looked into it.  I mean, I've already got a Twitter account that I never fucking use, so what's the point, right?  However, I finally caved and looked into it.  Turns out it's more versatile than Twitter and has a better layout.  So this morning I decided why the hell not?  You can now follow the crazy on Plurk!

And speaking of 4chan...

I'd heard that Moot had been asked to testify in the trial against the hacker who broke into Sarah Palin's email, but quite honestly, I'd forgotten about the whole thing since all the hubbub was almost 2 years ago.  However, I found a transcript of the testimony on Business Insider and it is hilarious.  The first section of it sounds like Internet Forums for Dummies.  Then it moves into net lingo, during which poor Moot is requested to explain the "Rickroll".  I am of the firm belief that the Rickroll cannot be explained.  It must be experienced.  I am also of the firm belief that there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that the word "Rickroll" should be uttered in a courtroom.

Um, actually, no... you are not Anonymous...

When the Tea Party movement first came about, I have to admit I was intrigued. The original selling point was that it was comprised of ordinary Americans who were sick and tired of the bailouts, the rising national debt, and the ever-increasing whispers of rising taxes. Who wouldn't be all for that? Unfortunately, that sort of thing also attracts the crazies. So, I've been sitting back and watching the show, hoping that maybe someone will get them back on track or possibly start a less haphazard (and less crazy-attracting) movement with those original principles. It's not looking good. Here is why:

Just about anyone who has been on the web for more than 5 seconds has heard of 4chan. Many who have heard of 4chan have heard of Anonymous, the unknown band of 4chan participants that is known for both their lovable online and IRL antics that they do "for the lulz". Quite frankly it's impressive. However, there is one clear rule of the internet: Do not fuck with Anonymous. It will not end well for you.

I found this on Failbook:


see more Failbook

Yeah... "uh oh" is right! See, this is the type of crazy I'm talking about. Did they just see this quote somewhere and think, "Hey, that sounds cool! Let's use it without researching the origins!" Never, EVER, use a quote without researching the origins! Of course, when I saw the Failbook entry, I had to dig deeper. I found several articles and blogs about it, but Daily Kos actually has screen shots.

How did I not hear about this sooner? The short answer, lately I fail at the interwebz.

In any case, the Facebook page has been removed and access to their Ning page has apparently been changed to members-only. This is why I took the wait-and-see approach with the Tea Party. Never jump on bandwagons, kids. While it may look all pretty and shiny at first, most of the time it's full of crazy.

And above all, never fuck with Anonymous.

Welcome To A Whole New Era of Middle School Bullying

These are the names that are growing the fastest in popularity? Really?? Apparently these parents have never set foot in a middle school, let alone attended one. Why would anyone curse their child with the name "Sookie", especially after the TrueBlood series? How many boys do you think are going to try to get in her pants by crooning "Sookeeehhhhh" like Bill Compton when she gets into high school? And did I miss some famous "Castiel" or something? Because I've never even heard of that one. (edit: I've just been informed it's from Supernatural)

I have a friend who is Indian and was toying with choosing a Hindi name for her first born. Knowing this child would eventually be going to an American public school, she asked me and several others for opinions on names, specifically from a middle school mindset. Long story short, she went with Sophie.

Acceptable from my perspective:
Girls - Martina, Charlotte (I actually really like this one), Lorelai
Boys - Lucian (if he goes by Luke), Mikah (if you spell it with a C), Sterling (only because I went to high school with one and he was pretty normal)

Totally and completely unacceptable (again, from my perspective):
Girls - Sookie, Ursula (ever since the Disney version of The Little Mermaid came out), anything beginning with Ever, especially the name "Ever"
Boys - Bentley (your kid is not a car), Dashiell (looks WAY too close to Danielle to escape taunting), Zion (really?)

I would apologize for offending anyone who named their speshul snoflayke one of the names I made fun of, but I'm really not sorry at all. Please, parents, before you name your kid, THINK OF THE CHILDRENZZZZ!!!11!!!!!1!!ELEVENTY!!!!